Hello World! Welcome Friends! Regardless of how much you are struggling in your marriage, the thought of filing for divorce is scary and overwhelming. Deciding that you want a divorce isn’t a small decision; it is a process that requires time and careful planning, so it’s important that you not threaten divorce in the heat of the moment. You must be sure that it is something you want and keep in mind that threatening your spouse with a divorce without being absolutely sure it’s what you want may backfire and they may instead immediately begin the process in order to protect themselves. If all avenues have been addressed in an attempt to save your marriage, and you have decided that divorce is the best option, the next question many people have is what should they do next? Here are some important things you should do before filing for divorce.
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash
Hire an Experienced Attorney
One of the first and most important things to do before filing for a divorce is hiring a lawyer with the right experience. The process of filing for a divorce can be complex, so you will want to have an experienced lawyer on your side. Divorce can have a significant impact on your finances, your custody arrangement, and what property you can or cannot keep. It’s important that you hire an attorney that understands your goals and that will listen to and assist you with any dilemmas, such as what steps you’ll need to take as well as offer you solutions to potential issues throughout the divorce process.
Gather Documents
Organization is crucial when you are filing for a divorce. Once you have secured an experienced attorney, you will need to provide them with a variety of documents, including your financial records. Gather all of the important documents you can and be sure to make copies of each document. The documents you must have available include:
- Bank statements
- Tax returns
- Retirement account statements
- Mortgage documents
- Checking account information
- Life insurance policies
- Credit card statements
- Vehicle titles
- Social security statements
- Family trusts
- Stock grants
Along with financial statements, you’ll also need a copy of your marriage certificate and the birth certificates for the children you have together with your spouse. The more organized your paperwork is, the more time you will save when it comes time to present these items to your attorney and/or the courts.
Be Financially Prepared
Once you file for divorce, joint credit cards or cards that are in your spouse’s name may no longer be accessible, so it’s important that you apply for your own credit card. Having your own credit card will not only help with financial support but will also help you to begin creating your individual credit history. It is essential that you have enough funds for your living expenses, so it’s generally recommended that you put aside enough money to last at least months, especially if you won’t have any or only limited access to joint finances. You’ll need to be careful with your spending during the divorce process, so avoid any unnecessary debts, cut back on spending, and create a post-divorce budget.
Know Your Living Situation
Knowing where you will live during as well as after the divorce is critical. You will need to decide whether you want to remain in the house with your spouse if you want to move somewhere else or if you want your spouse to move out. Keep in mind that if you jointly own the house, moving out may have an impact on ownership in the divorce decisions. If you do not think you can afford the mortgage on your own, it’s important to discuss what will happen to the house after the divorce. For instance, will the house be sold, and the profits split between the two of you, will you move out and your spouse remains in the house? Be sure to address your questions and concerns about your living situation with your attorney.
Have a Custody Plan
If you and your spouse have children together, who has custody of them will be one of the most important parts of the divorce process. If possible, discuss the options with your spouse. Shared custody is an option, so it is in the best interest of the children for you to review both of your working schedules and the children’s schedule (school, extracurricular activities &, etc.) The best scenario is to come up with an arrangement that is beneficial for you and your spouse as well as the children. Regardless of how civil you and your spouse are during the divorce, the process will be difficult for the children, so it’s important that you focus on them and reduce the negative impact of the divorce. To avoid creating emotional problems for the children, you should not involve the children in your battle and do not ask them to take sides.
Make Necessary Sales and/or Purchases
In many state/county jurisdictions, the proceeding judge over the divorce will issue an order at the beginning of the divorce that prevents you and your spouse from buying, selling, or disposing of any marital property. This order is put in place to protect all parties involved and to prevent either spouse from destroying property out of spite, draining bank accounts, or introducing new debt. If there are items that you own individually and you want to sell, trade, or give away, it must be done before the divorce papers are filed.
Divorce is an emotional experience. It is a process that can take a toll on all involved, so it is important that you have a support system in place. If your finances allow it, consider speaking with a therapist or other mental health professional. At the very minimum, make sure to talk with friends or family that have been through a divorce and be sure to let them know that you may be leaning on them for moral support and advice. The more emotionally stable you are, the easier it will be for you to make decisions throughout the divorce process.
Click the links below for any posts you have missed:
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The DIY Projects You Can Do To Spruce Up Your Home
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